Question
If parents think a boy is very good and want you to have a relationship (nikah) with him in future, ps (the boy didn\’t asked for relationship yet) but you know his defects, then reveal his secret to your mother to secure your future, is it a sin?
Answer
Gheebat, or backbiting is haraam and prohibited. However in certain cases this can be permissible. One such case will be when someone is consulting for Nikah and you are aware of their defects that can be harmful for the other party, you must declare these and not hide. This is permissible by the Sharia. As mentioned in Fatwa e Shami:
وَالْإِبَاحَةُ لَا تُنَافِي الْوُجُوبَ فِي بَعْضِ الْمَوَاضِعِ الْآتِيَةِ (قَوْلُهُ وَمُتَظَاهِرٍ بِقَبِيحٍ) وَهُوَ الَّذِي لَا يَسْتَتِرُ عَنْهُ وَلَا يُؤَثِّرُ عِنْدَهُ إذَا قِيلَ عَنْهُ إنَّهُ يَفْعَلُ كَذَا اهـ ابْنُ الشِّحْنَةِ قَالَ فِي تَبْيِينِ الْمَحَارِمِ: فَيَجُوزُ ذِكْرُهُ بِمَا يُجَاهِرُ بِهِ لَا غَيْرِهِ قَالَ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – «مَنْ أَلْقَى جِلْبَابَ الْحَيَاءِ عَنْ وَجْهِهِ فَلَا غِيبَةَ لَهُ» وَأَمَّا إذَا كَانَ مُسْتَتِرًا فَلَا تَجُوزُ غِيبَتُهُ اهـ.
قُلْت: وَمَا اُشْتُهِرَ بَيْنَ الْعَوَّامِ مِنْ أَنَّهُ لَا غِيبَةَ لِتَارِكِ الصَّلَاةِ إنْ أُرِيدَ بِهِ ذِكْرُهُ بِذَلِكَ وَكَانَ مُتَجَاهِرًا فَهُوَ صَحِيحٌ وَإِلَّا فَلَا (قَوْلُهُ وَلِمُصَاهَرَةٍ) الْأَوْلَى التَّعْبِيرُ بِالْمَشُورَةِ: أَيْ فِي نِكَاحٍ وَسَفَرٍ وَشَرِكَةٍ وَمُجَاوَرَةٍ وَإِيدَاعِ أَمَانَةٍ وَنَحْوِهَا فَلَهُ أَنْ يَذْكُرَ مَا يَعْرِفُهُ عَلَى قَصْدِ النُّصْحِ
Summary of translation:
” Permissibility isn’t against the Wujoob (of not doing backbiting) in certain cases. If someone is openly committing a disliked act, then you can mention this to others so they can be saved from his evil. It is mentioned in Hadeeth Shareef, ” whoever removes the veil of modesty from his face, his backbiting is not prohibited”. But in case of Nikaah, if someone is consulted, then he should tell what he is aware of with an intention of sincerity.
Thus in your case, if you are aware of the defects of the person then you are allowed to disclose these to your mother in order to be protected from the evil.
واللہ تعالیٰ ورسولہ الکریم ﷺ اعلم بالصواب
Written by: Mufti Syed Siraj Ul Arifeen Shah
St. Ives (Cambridgeshire, UK)
04/09/2024 11:31, 30 Safar, 1446 Hijri
